I'm the worst, worst of all mankind. Worse than a piece of shit. Yea. I'm better of dead.
Going to sleep now, wish I won't be able to wake up again. Pointless to. No one will even care if that really happens. Cause, I'm of no importance at all and a person less means a burden less to deal with. Right? Bet anyone can't imagine how great a burden I am. So yea, dead is the best thing for me to be now.
Sorry dear.
):.
Am I thinking way too much? Didn't mean what you're thinking, I just don't like it. Jealousy, agree?
p/s : I don't wanna lose you. I'd be lost and helpless if I did. Sorry for everything I've done. I 'll try to change, I know if I didn't, you'd most probably leave me one day. I dread the coming of that day, hope it never will come. You've promised me, saying that you won't leave me. I hope you won't let that be just like any other empty promises. I remembered that I didn't accept you straight away when you asked me for stead, I took at least two days. Cause, I'm afraid that I'd get hurt if I were to be in a r/s with someone cause that's how my friends ended up in the end everytime. I'll always be there seeing them cry, comforting them and also acting like losing someone ain't really a big deal. The truth is, I'm afraid of all this. Friends of mine which I thought are my bffs just started to leave me as time passes }Not trying to be sympathetic here. And yea, after giving it a good thought, I accepted you. Through the days, I said to myself that I'd want to last long with you and that I should try not to quarrel and give in to you so it reduces the chance of getting me hurt. I'm such a coward ain't I? But that did not work. We eventually started to quarrel every now and then after our seventh month together. I hate it when we quarrel. But yea, we forgive and forget. You're always the one saying sorry first, that makes me feel very bad cause I'm partly at fault too and you're like taking all the blame. Sorry, I suck much):. Dear, you really made a happier person than I am in the past. I'm really lucky that I had transferred to Northbrooks and being able to have met you. Really. No regrets. Heheh.You're having your Os this year, study really hard ok? Promise me this, important! Must tell me whenever you're studying so I won't disturb you ok. And lastly, I want to tell you that no matter what, I'll always love you my baby.
TimothySngGuoFeng, you're truely the best.
2nd September 2009, best day of my life.